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  • Married lovers are more adventurous than single ladies when it comes to having affairs – Reader
  • FROM time to time, I get letters from you
    readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought
    to share them with the rest of you. A few days
    back, a letter simply signed “Iyabode” popped
    up on my
    e-mail and I couldn’t help chuckling to myself
    as I read it. She wrote: “Dear Bunmi, I am one of
    the regular readers of your articles in The
    Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know
    how fully I
    can express my feelings about your articles. If I
    may tell you, they have really improved my
    lifestyle and I always make copies available to
    friends whenever the need arises. Bunmi, I shall
    be grateful if you can please help write
    something one of these days on: Why men of
    today prefer married women as girlfriends.
    Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these
    days. Please help emphasize on the following
    points:
    Class: This set of married women are known for
    their own class. Most of them are wives of rich
    and notorious men. These men also go out at all
    times with extremely younger girls, leaving their
    wives and kids at home, thinking that money
    can fix everything, forgetting about love and
    happiness.
    Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by
    men because they do have wide sexual
    experiences and they are very safe as they don’t
    pester the men for marriage.
    Fashion: These ladies are very fashion
    conscious. They are seen in designer dresses
    and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how
    much they spend on manicures, pedicures and
    professionally applied make-up all in order to
    look impeccably groomed. Not to talk of
    ridiculously expensive hair extensions. They are
    also seen in various body shops where they do
    expensive keep fit exercises. This set of ladies
    have all the time in the world to look after
    themselves as a result of their rich husbands
    not staying at home most of the time. Their
    main achievement is to dress to kill so that
    other men could admire them.
    Conclusion: Most of these ladies do commit
    adultery mainly to spite their husbands who are
    noted for their indiscretions. They (the ladies)
    have all the time to have fun outside their
    matrimonial homes whenever their husbands are
    out hunting. They just believe in the saying that;
    what is good for the goose is also good for the
    gander.
    Advice: Bunmi, please advise us all that
    inasmuch as you are not encouraging this type
    of attitude amongst us, men must be advised
    and warned to please do anything they do in the
    name of fun in moderation because women of
    today will never allow them (the men) to have
    their cake and eat it all. Gone are the days of
    our mothers
    when Aro Mental Hospital, Abeokuta, was
    packed full of female patients who have
    problems. Ladies of nowadays are not ready for
    that kind of ego. The reverse in fact is now the
    case.
    Please help expatiate on this subject of married
    women and their lovers. And let us for once
    bring out fright in these our hard-hearted men.”
    After sounding all that warning, dear Iyabode,
    there is precious little left of the topic for me to
    expatiate on. Over the years, and from time to
    time, I have touched on similar issues but it
    seems our men are just bent on living on the
    dangerous fast lane. As you rightly observed, it
    takes two to tango. The women too aren’t
    exactly as innocent of the offence as you
    believed. In fact, they are the bait that keeps
    men always rushing to the hook. All we have to
    do really is cross our fingers. Who knows, the
    vogue” might die after the novelty wears off – I
    wish!
    In a second interesting letter, a reader writes on
    an entirely different topic:
    “Good men come in many packages”, she
    writes. “What I have learnt in my adult years is
    that the father I knew and love wasn’t
    necessarily the man my mother initially met. For
    example, during the early years of their
    marriage, my father had a slight drinking
    problem. But when my mother gave him the
    ultimatum of choosing between alcohol and his
    family, he chose the latter. By the time I came
    along, the problems was history, and I can
    barely recall my father even taking a drink
    socially.
    “Now don’t get me wrong – my mother was in
    no way telling me to settle down in a hurry. In
    fact, ‘You can do that by yourself’ is one of her
    mantras. But she was quietly revealing to me
    how important patience and understanding are
    of a successful relationship. If my father was
    alive today, I have no doubt that my parents
    would still
    be happily married. Surely they had occasional
    arguments, but those never seemed to last.
    Their love always seemed to overcome whatever
    challenges they faced.
    Though the standard of living today is very
    difficult from what it was some 30 years ago,
    when my parents tied the knot, the standard for
    loving married should never change. 1 want
    what my parents had, and no amount of
    education or financial stability can guarantee
    that. If my soul mate happens to be a university
    graduate with a big salary, great. But I no longer
    have a check list to material things my
    husband-to-be must possess.
    “Of course there are qualities in a husband I
    cannot compromise on. I want a God-fearing
    man who will always have self-respect, respect
    for me, and strong family values. ‘1 didn’t have
    my father around when 1 was growing’ up is a
    lame excuse for irresponsible, disrespectful
    behaviour in a relationship. My dad never knew
    hisn biological father, and he was raised by
    women. This never stopped him from being a
    wonderful husband and father … “
    Joanne 28, Legal Practitioner.
    A Sad Man’s Poem! (Humour)
    My nookie days are over.
    My pilot light is out.
    What used to be my sex appeal, is now my
    water spout. Time was, when on its own accord,
    from my trousers it would spring. But now I’ve
    got a full-time job to find the bleeding thing. It
    used to be embarrassing, the way it would
    behave. Every single morning it would stand and
    watch me shave! Now as age approaches, it
    sure gives me the blues. To see it hang its little
    head and watch me tie my shoes!
    Viagra, A Pathfinder? (Humour)
    A family are driving to the seaside but spend
    ages looking for their hotel. ‘I think I’m lost,’
    dad admits to Mum. ‘Daddy,’ their little son in
    the back pipes up, ‘you must’ve forgotten the
    viagra’.
    ‘Eh?’ Dad splutters. ‘What on earth do you
    mean?’ ‘Well,’ the son says, “I heard mum tell
    Auntie Jill if. it wasn’t for the viagra, you’d be
    losst.

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