Married lovers are more adventurous than single ladies when it comes to having affairs – Reader

FROM time to time, I get letters from you
readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought
to share them with the rest of you. A few days
back, a letter simply signed “Iyabode” popped
up on my
e-mail and I couldn’t help chuckling to myself
as I read it. She wrote: “Dear Bunmi, I am one of
the regular readers of your articles in The
Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know
how fully I
can express my feelings about your articles. If I
may tell you, they have really improved my
lifestyle and I always make copies available to
friends whenever the need arises. Bunmi, I shall
be grateful if you can please help write
something one of these days on: Why men of
today prefer married women as girlfriends.
Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these
days. Please help emphasize on the following
points:
Class: This set of married women are known for
their own class. Most of them are wives of rich
and notorious men. These men also go out at all
times with extremely younger girls, leaving their
wives and kids at home, thinking that money
can fix everything, forgetting about love and
happiness.
Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by
men because they do have wide sexual
experiences and they are very safe as they don’t
pester the men for marriage.
Fashion: These ladies are very fashion
conscious. They are seen in designer dresses
and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how
much they spend on manicures, pedicures and
professionally applied make-up all in order to
look impeccably groomed. Not to talk of
ridiculously expensive hair extensions. They are
also seen in various body shops where they do
expensive keep fit exercises. This set of ladies
have all the time in the world to look after
themselves as a result of their rich husbands
not staying at home most of the time. Their
main achievement is to dress to kill so that
other men could admire them.
Conclusion: Most of these ladies do commit
adultery mainly to spite their husbands who are
noted for their indiscretions. They (the ladies)
have all the time to have fun outside their
matrimonial homes whenever their husbands are
out hunting. They just believe in the saying that;
what is good for the goose is also good for the
gander.
Advice: Bunmi, please advise us all that
inasmuch as you are not encouraging this type
of attitude amongst us, men must be advised
and warned to please do anything they do in the
name of fun in moderation because women of
today will never allow them (the men) to have
their cake and eat it all. Gone are the days of
our mothers
when Aro Mental Hospital, Abeokuta, was
packed full of female patients who have
problems. Ladies of nowadays are not ready for
that kind of ego. The reverse in fact is now the
case.
Please help expatiate on this subject of married
women and their lovers. And let us for once
bring out fright in these our hard-hearted men.”
After sounding all that warning, dear Iyabode,
there is precious little left of the topic for me to
expatiate on. Over the years, and from time to
time, I have touched on similar issues but it
seems our men are just bent on living on the
dangerous fast lane. As you rightly observed, it
takes two to tango. The women too aren’t
exactly as innocent of the offence as you
believed. In fact, they are the bait that keeps
men always rushing to the hook. All we have to
do really is cross our fingers. Who knows, the
vogue” might die after the novelty wears off – I
wish!
In a second interesting letter, a reader writes on
an entirely different topic:
“Good men come in many packages”, she
writes. “What I have learnt in my adult years is
that the father I knew and love wasn’t
necessarily the man my mother initially met. For
example, during the early years of their
marriage, my father had a slight drinking
problem. But when my mother gave him the
ultimatum of choosing between alcohol and his
family, he chose the latter. By the time I came
along, the problems was history, and I can
barely recall my father even taking a drink
socially.
“Now don’t get me wrong – my mother was in
no way telling me to settle down in a hurry. In
fact, ‘You can do that by yourself’ is one of her
mantras. But she was quietly revealing to me
how important patience and understanding are
of a successful relationship. If my father was
alive today, I have no doubt that my parents
would still
be happily married. Surely they had occasional
arguments, but those never seemed to last.
Their love always seemed to overcome whatever
challenges they faced.
Though the standard of living today is very
difficult from what it was some 30 years ago,
when my parents tied the knot, the standard for
loving married should never change. 1 want
what my parents had, and no amount of
education or financial stability can guarantee
that. If my soul mate happens to be a university
graduate with a big salary, great. But I no longer
have a check list to material things my
husband-to-be must possess.
“Of course there are qualities in a husband I
cannot compromise on. I want a God-fearing
man who will always have self-respect, respect
for me, and strong family values. ‘1 didn’t have
my father around when 1 was growing’ up is a
lame excuse for irresponsible, disrespectful
behaviour in a relationship. My dad never knew
hisn biological father, and he was raised by
women. This never stopped him from being a
wonderful husband and father … “
Joanne 28, Legal Practitioner.
A Sad Man’s Poem! (Humour)
My nookie days are over.
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal, is now my
water spout. Time was, when on its own accord,
from my trousers it would spring. But now I’ve
got a full-time job to find the bleeding thing. It
used to be embarrassing, the way it would
behave. Every single morning it would stand and
watch me shave! Now as age approaches, it
sure gives me the blues. To see it hang its little
head and watch me tie my shoes!
Viagra, A Pathfinder? (Humour)
A family are driving to the seaside but spend
ages looking for their hotel. ‘I think I’m lost,’
dad admits to Mum. ‘Daddy,’ their little son in
the back pipes up, ‘you must’ve forgotten the
viagra’.
‘Eh?’ Dad splutters. ‘What on earth do you
mean?’ ‘Well,’ the son says, “I heard mum tell
Auntie Jill if. it wasn’t for the viagra, you’d be
losst.